What’s your opinion?

So I’m driving minding my own business when this growling huge-ass pick up truck peels in right behind me.  Every time he accelerates his engine raves so loud that everyone could hear him from miles away.   Finally I started to get a little freaked out by how close he was getting to me (little sensitive these days) so I get into the next lane.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when he passed me.  Check this out:ilvgina1

 

Amanda and I were on the phone and I read the plate out to her and she took it a whole different way.  I didn’t.  I graced him with a HUGE MIDDLE FINGER for good measure.

What do you think it says?

Recap Part 2

Dang!  What a busy day!  I had to kick the elliptical ass for a little while this morning then I headed off to meet with my gift from God (web designer/business builder genius) to help me make this nutrition business happen! 

Then I had to head straight to a meeting with the girls at the Junior League to set up our community projects for next year.  This year my project is called Kids in The Kitchen.  We are helping a community of single parents teach their children how to cook/make after school snacks for themselves when their parents aren’t home. I’ve GOT TO pass on the recipes to you guys… SO CUTE (peanut butter/banana sushi rolls.. ‘nuff said) I may do the same project next year except this time I may be the leader.  They talked to me about this tonight and I’m a little nervous to jump in but I guess there is no reason to not do it.

So lets get back to where we left off last night .. get comfy.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m going to be a Certified Nutritionist.  This is an online program from a school in California called the Global College Of Natural Medicine (http://www.gcnm.com/index.html) .  When this course is completed I will be accredited by American Association of Drugless Practitioners and the American Naturopathic Medical Accreditation Board. This is so exciting!  So what’s next after I have this big fancy new title of “Certified Nutritionist”? Well, I want to start my own thing.  I have a really diverse background of education and would like to put it all together.  What does this really mean?  I want to talk to kids in schools, write articles in magazines, do public speaking engagements, weekly spot on the news (broadcasting is in my blood) and I’d like to do personal consulting.  What job would let me do all this at once?  MY OWN company!  So… now we begin. YIKES.

 I started to get really into the meat and potatoes last week when I met with a photographer to take professional pictures for the website.  I LOVE the pictures because they captivate exactly the impression I want to give those who are only going to give me a few seconds when scrolling through my site.  80% of my clients will be in contact with me directly from my website, so I gotta go big.

Today I met with the web designer who will help me create a logo, brand, marketing strategy, and of course website.  She is GENIUS because she’s a one stop shop.  I LOVE this about her and her business.  She’s got it all!

So, this whole business is going to take quite a bit of time , energy, and money.  I wish the money was flowing like the wine of Capistrano but I also don’t want to screw up the MAIN source of my business, the website.  Hey guys, did you know that websites like AOL,CNN, and MTV cost over a million dollars to generate?  WHAT! Yeah, they don’t come cheap.

So with this project up and running, I needed a lot of time to think about my bio, my services, packages, and my mission statement.  What better time to do this than a nice long run, say a 7K.  Perfect plan right!?  Nope… yet again my very recent memories of running have been pretty grim. So, with much consideration and listening to my intuition I decided to skip out on the 7K.  I was a little disappointed to not have completed it, or even tried, but I was sure that it was the right thing. 

So my dad and I decided to stroll around downtown Denver instead.  As we’re heading to Earls for lunch, I was stopped by a news reporter and asked if I wouldn’t mind being interviewed about the economy.  ARE YOU SERIOUS!?  I used to be on E! Networks every Thursday for Talk Soup and I was the lead field reporter for a tiny news station Channel 3 Costa Mesa News.. I LOVE BROADCASTING.  I took her mic quicker than she could blink and fired away.  She talked to me for a good 20 minutes solid.  The best part was she was so excited because she said all her other interviews for the day were flops and she was glad to have at least gotten my opinions.  I then proceeded to not skip a beat to tell her about my pending certification in Nutrition and I’d love to do a spot on the news if they were interested.  She TOOK MY CARD and told me she’d keep my info because they WERE thinking about doing something like this! ! ! I’m FREAKING OUT at this point!!! I KNEW God told me to skip the 7K for a reason! 

I get home and text message everyone telling them to stay tuned to see me on the news tonight.  I DVR it and am GLUED.. counting down the minutes until the familiar news jingle begins.  Finally, 11 painful minutes pass and they begin the story.  The voice over is showing shots of people walking and then they pan to an interview with some guy that lost his job and can’t find another one.  THEN along comes YET ANOTHER interview with a friggin CONVICT who can’t get a job because of his past felony.  The whole story begins to wrap up with the point that the economy isn’t too great then they flash me on the screen with O N E miniscule sound bite “I completely think the economy is going to turn around soon!”  me-on-tvWHAT!!  AFTER ALL THAT!? AND she pumped me up so much for ONE second sound bite? 

EVERYONE made fun of me!  It was the WORST. My dad said he blinked and missed me (H A  H A.) I just hope she keeps my 15 business cards I gave her so she’ll hook me up later.

So the weekend begins and I head about 2.5 hours south of Denver to a city called Buena Vista for a women’s retreat that I helped coordinate with a few women from church.  buena-vistaI was freaking out because I was kind of on call for Amanda if she went into labor so I was a little hesitant to get too comfy the whole time. 

The highlight of this whole excursion was taking a beautiful hike with a few girls. camp-1 We all had so much in common in terms of traveling, healthy lifestyles, and of course church.  I loved my time with them and enjoyed the 50 hugs I stole from my favorite girls.  I have to say … the POWER of female friends, you know, when everyone drops their defenses/competition is a true force that nothing can conquer.  When we choose to breathe life into each other by way of support, encouragement, advice and of course love, there is a sense of wholeness that simply can’t exist without each other.  I felt like I refueled a certain part that was running low in my life.   A note to all Denver (or surrounding areas) readers: LETS MEET UP.  I’d love if you would contact me so I know you’re out there.  As for my sweet friends that live elsewhere, Jenna, Caitlin, Meghann, and ALL of you that I haven’t had the privilege to meet, ANYTIME you come to Denver, I hope you know you’ve got big welcoming arms here with me. 

Ok, enough love fest already.  So the week was coming to an end nicely.  I felt great!  I decided a nice treat would be a trip to my favorite MONSTER Whole Foods about 17 minutes away.  This WF is WORTH every mile as well as every lap I take once I enter.  So I’m happily jamming out at a stop light when WHAM.. (not the wake me up before you go go one) right into the back of my car. This is TERRIBLE but I actually was wondering just the other day what it would feel like to be rear ended (I’m not even going to address how wrong that just sounded.) The car behind me and I both drive off the busy main street and park.   As she opens her door to walk towards me, I am struck by how old she is.  How in the world is this woman driving?  She comes up to me and apologizes profusely saying “I thought I had enough time to stop.” WHAT!  That’s not how driving works.  Depth perception is kind of vital, not really a general vicinity type thing. The poor lady was SO shaken up, even worse than me.

I get out of my car and tell her its ok (please don’t have a heart attack old lady).  She gives me a HUGE hug before I can even survey the damage.  She was SO scared!  I felt terrible for her.  So I check out my car and everything is ok.  We’re both fine and our cars will be fine.  No big deal, just more scary than anything.  Needless to say I was officially Lindsay the Grouch after this episode.  I lost my appetite and kind of felt sick but here’s the kicker, did this stop me from my bee line to WF?  NOT A CHANCE!  I still made my way over there and sat down to a beautiful mix of coffee/vanilla frozen yogurt.  I think this is pretty much the definition of emotional eating.  Either way, I regained my composure a bit and headed home to make a huge bubble bath of Lindsay Soup.

So guys…huge EXHALE.. we’re DONE with the past 3 years wrap up (like my subliminal yoga breathing there? J )

I feel so much better.  I missed you guys and now I can finally get back to my regular silly postings now that the big stuff is out of the way. 

HUGE HUGS… sleep tight.

 

Recap- Hurry before more chaos!

Ahhhhhhh  I feel like I’m finally home you guys! I first want to thank e a c h  and e v e r y   o n e  of you for your notes to make sure everything’s ok.  I love you guys so much. Thank you Melissa, Sara, Kristine, Caitlin and everyone else who stopped by to see what was going on.  I’ve literally had to wait until I had a serious chunk of time to get caught up with my sweet, sweet blog friends. Guys  it’s crazy… I go to Vegas and by the time I got back, I literally hit the ground running.  All of a sudden I’m like 4 days behind, then another thing happens then I’m a week behind then I’m like… holy crap!  I’ve got SO much to say I don’t even know where to begin.

So this is me not even knowing where to start!  I’ll make it as concise as possible.

Vegas with my mom was awesome.  Remember how she made a “no fun allowed” rule?  That was officially broken umm.. about 5 steps off the plane- proof of the power of advertisement. She was walking RIGHT off the plane and saw all the posters and signs for shows, restaurants and events.  She IMMEDIATLEY picked up a Las Vegas events magazine and started calling to get tickets for you’ll never guess…  BET MIDDLER.  I didn’t know weather to laugh hysterically or cry! You Are The Wiiinnnnndddd Beeeneatth My Winngggssss.  So Bet was a no go (whew) but good old Carrot Top and Criss Angel were ON!  Yeeee Haww! 

We arrive at our “no fun allowed” hotel, none other than 1982’s best, Circus Circus featuring iridescent fuschia awnings and a RANK stank that would easily clear anyone’s pipes.  I kid you not; we almost tripped over ourselves the moment we walked in.  So my mom and I are standing in the registration line when I peer over at the janitor who is using a product to scrub the carpet.  He turns around just enough for me to see the title of his chemical… “Urine Off!”  I COULDN’T HANDLE IT.  My mom and I had to cross our legs laughing so hard. I couldn’t believe we were paying to actually BE the animals in this Circus Circus.

We got to business pretty much right away.  speck in the backgroundMy mom’s main goal was to make sure her tenants were happy campers and her HOA, realtors, and property managers were all up to date on the possible sale of her home. (Speck in the background).

 

Once we got the task of meeting with all these people under our belt it was all uphill. A quick stop at her favorite local bar where she wanted Cider. momI had a beer (more like a wine girl so this was an event for me).

me

Carrot top was our first stop.  He was hilarious! I love how he uses props for his whole comedy routine.  This is so refreshing and different!  PLUS as you guys know… I friggin LOVE TO LAUGH so this was a great night!

The rest of the trip was just strolling around the outskirts of Vegas where my moms house is.  Sticking with the “no fun” rule, we only ate at Whole Foods the ENTIRE time.  Unbeknownst to my mom, I was in HEAVEN, BRING ON THE NO FUN!  Vegas Whole Foods is a BEAST!  This place could have rivaled any Bellagio buffet!   It was beautiful!  I literally started skipping when I entered the doors.  I could hear the angels in Heaven singing.

Criss Angel was next.  Um. How do I say this delicately? HE SUCKED.  I’m sorry but he is the coolest magician on TV but he did the OLDEST tricks in the BOOK.  List em : straight jacket, oops he disappears under the cape, oops the assistant disappears, oh look at that – he sawed himself down the middle… I mean seriously guys this was so disappointing.  YAWN.

So we get back home to Denver and the real chaos ensues, starting with my ADORED Amanda.  As you know, she’s pregnant.  Over the past week and a half she’s painfully endured 3 false labor emergencies and a couple of doctor appts thrown in the mix.   This is physically and emotionally so taxing and exhausting, so I’ve been her right hand woman as much as she’ll possibly let me.  The best I could/can do is bring food and tryto make her laugh through the contractions.  It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it!  We have no idea when this baby’s finally going to say hello but it will hopefully be any minute now.

Ok… I think I may be overloading you guys enough thus far so let’s continue with part two tomorrow. I’ll get into the rest of the week including the womans retreat in the mountains, pictures for building my nutrition business/website, the 7K I didn’t do but managed to make the channel 13 news instead,  and car accident (no worries, it’s all good). See! No kidding guys …I was SO behind I was freaking out!

See you tomorrow!

Sleep tight… huge hugs.

Vegas Baby!

Wow… what’s up with the day flying by so fast?! Here I am settled and it’s almost 9 PM! WHAT! So the to do list didn’t quite get conquered as quickly as I hoped for. I managed to get outside for a pretty sweet stroll with Chloe this afternoon. It hit almost 73 degrees or so today. Last I checked the weatherman said March is Denver’s snowiest month. Hmmm.

So then I studied and grabbed some granola bars and cereal from the grocery store to prepare for Nevada for the next couple days. My mom bought a home there a couple years ago and she needs my help to tie up some loose ends before her new tenant moves in. She made it pretty obvious that her intentions for this trip are not to have ANY FUN AT ALL while in VEGAS. imagesSooo that just means I’ll have to scam her into having fun. Shows, food, shopping, casinos, comedians… something will suck her right in.

I also managed to hit up Core Power yoga again tonight. I was pleased to bump into an old high school friend. It kind of made me a little more self conscious but it was fun to see him again. I ran home and hopped into the tub. Man I love taking baths after a huge, sweaty yoga session. It kind of “seals in” the practice for me.

Chloe was OBVIOUSLY jealous that I was floating around in deliciously bubbly Lindsay soup, so after I got out, in she went. She’s TOO cute when she’s in the tub. She manages to shrink (due to hair being wet) and actually look like she’s 2 lbs. Wish I could magically do that!

So we both got dried up and on we went downstairs to catch dead middle of biggest loser. Jillian admitted that whatever she JUST DID 5 SECONDS AGO THAT I MISSED was the “meanest thing” she’s ever done. DAMMMIT! What did she do? She’s SO harsh, I can only imagine.

So the agenda for the rest of the night is packing and packing Chloe’s stuff. She’s staying at my mom’s with Lee and her (cousin?) best friend Crazy Monty. Monty always wears her out so she’ll be in good shape.

As for me, I can’t wait to get back on Saturday for a class I’m taking at church “Sex, Intimacy, and Lies”. I gotta learn a thing or two in this category so I’ll keep you posted if they offer me any new pearls of wisdom. I hope you guys have a great remaining week. I’ll be back with tons of pictures of my No Fun Allowed Vegas trip.

GIDDYUP!!!! HUGS!!!!!

One INCREDIBLE day

You will never believe what I did today.  I have two really exciting points to my day so I’ll dive right in.

First up, BRAANNDOON!  yoga-008Oh how I love thee.  Brandon is the famous yoga instructor that I used to play over and over on tv, record, rewind, do more yoga, repeat process.  I LOVE BRANDON because he’s so gentle yet gets you into the poses with ease yet makes you sweat.  So as I mentioned earlier, I was actually ABOUT TO ATTEND his class!!! 

I walk into Core Power yoga and he was THE FIRST thing I set my eyes on.  Oh my Brandon!  I wasn’t shy AT ALL.  I said “You’re BRANDON!  You’re on TV. You’RE A GENIUS!”  He humbly laughed at me and my bold excitement to see him.  I told him that I’ve written blog posts about him and I think he’s the best yoga instructor ever.  He shook my hand and said he was looking forward to my attending his classes.  So class began and HE KICKED EVEN MORE ASS than he does on tv.  He was hilarious! He made us do a martial arts pose and even do a “hiya” type noise.  I love it!  Then he had us rock out to some GREAT music that I’ve never heard before.  Psychedelic calm meets techno.  I was kickin some ACE just IN CASE he walked past.  I had to look like I know what I was doing!   I love him.  He’s on the homosexual side I believe, so no worries.. I’m not off making boyfriends left and right (although I’ve considered a gay guy would make the best boyfriend of all time).

So my day got even more interesting from here. My dad is a doctor and made friends with a registered dietician in a special wing of a hospital he works at.. the “Eating Recovery Center”.  I asked him if he could put me in contact with her so I could see if I could volunteer in the center.  Low and behold today Malory contacted me and told me she’d love to give me a tour. 

I arrive with kind of butterflies in my stomach.  I guess it was a tiny emotional because at one point a while back, I was pretty close to having to be admitted into a center like this, if not this one.  I made myself visualize what it must feel like to have to go up the elevator and actually make this place my home.  I have so much sympathy for anyone who is in this position.  It is very difficult. The elevator opens and it is absolutely magnificent.  Granite counters for the reception area and beautifully tiled floors with a very contemporary flair.

Malory almost immediately greets me and pretty much gets right to it with the tour.  She showed me EVERYTHING in this place.  Just so she knew my intentions, I told her right away that I’d be ABSOLUTLEY HONORED if I could volunteer or help in any way.  She said there were only about 24 patients so far, so the overwhelming need for volunteers wasn’t quite there yet.. but she’ll keep me in mind.

So, back to the tour.  Guys.. I’d say this place rivals the biggest eating disorder palace in Malibu. It was GORGEOUS. There was a spa area, massage room, art room, many meditation rooms, bed rooms where the girls had their own space, internet rooms and of course separate eating rooms including a full blown state of the art kitchen so the patients could learn how to cook and portion on their own.

This was such a warm environment that wouldn’t be too difficult to adjust to.  I had SO MANY QUESTIONS that I just kept whispering about the average length of stay, how they handle people refusing to eat, how they monitor any purging, what their plan is from the moment someone enters until they leave, what therepy is the most beneficial, what food do they feed them, how much does it cost, how many are in really bad condition, how below weight are these people, are there any men.. I mean.. as you could see I was just SOAKING this stuff up.  It was such an awesome experience to have the ability to tour a center like this and I was reminded in my gut, soul, heart and mind why I am MEANT for this.. I HAVE HAVE HAVE to contribute to my community through eating disorders and body image.  I can’t wait to begin helping.

The tour rapped up only after about 30 minutes but I was grateful for Malory’s time.  She’s a busy girl and was so kind to lend me some of her time and knowledge.  I will be in touch with her in the future foaming at the mouth to help contribute to this center. 

By the way, I’ll be happy to go into more detail if anyone is curious about the same questions I had.  Just let me know and I’ll tell you everything I learned.

WHAT A DAY.  I’m SO MOVED. … I am SO excited that it was yet again confirmed to me what my PURPOSE in life is.  It feels SO GOOD to know that I’m on the right track and soon enough I will be holding others hands through this tough time just as you all have held mine.

Man… lets face it guys.  LIFE IS GOOD….

Can I Get A Wut Wut!!!

Hi sweet people!!! I just awoke from a random case of blog coma. Guys I LOVE writing, the hard part is that if you’re not REALLY inspired for the day, it’s tough to feel good about what’s been written. One of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster, writes in her blog Jennsylvania.com and then falls off the wagon every once in a while. When she comes back, it’s PURE GOLD. I can’t get over her blog and check it a million times a day… wait for it … wait for it…. Then BAM she busts out the most hilarious piece I’ve ever seen. So sometimes, it’s worth taking a little breather so writing doesn’t become mundane and boring.

I’m really sorry because I think my timing was a little off because it was right on the heels of me griping about all my Olympic eating competitions. I got a few e mails just to check in that I was ok. So, I apologize if I made anyone think I officially went off the deep end. I’M DOING GREAT!!! YAY ME!!!!!!! Can I Get A WUTT WUTT!!!

I feel like my stomach has LITERALLY deflated. The things I listed in my last post actually worked. I haven’t been instigating huge eating patterns by reading food blogs constantly. This helped A TON. I have also enjoyed studying in coffee shops a lot more which is getting me right out of the kitchen nicely. Guys, things are looking up!

The past couple days have been pretty low key. The weekend was pretty much a girls weekend. I cought up with a girl from church on Friday night. We hung out for 5 HOURS eating sushi and drinking wine. It was really nice to have such a great conversation that could have lasted for so much longer.

Amanda and I chilled on Saturday night at none other than Red Lobster. She’s literally about to have her baby any minute now, so she’s trying to get all her cravings out of the way before she’s stuck at home for a while. I had crab legs. They were ok… not spectacular. Lets be honest, Red Lobster kind of sucks (in my humble opinion). The “salad” is always dry and rubbery and I feel like everything is just DRENCHED and dripping in butter. I don’t think I’ve gone there even one time when they’ve gotten my order right. So on we went to one of my favorite places … TARGET!!! We strolled around this Disneyland of a Superstore. Amanda and I used to roll around Target in the electric sit down carts while doing everything we could to not piss our pants in laughter. Ahhh good times. If only I was able to act 14 all the time. Just TRY to slow me down people, obviously I’m hardcore! Look at me go on these crazy weekends!

The sad truth is that I’m perfectly happy laying low these days. I really couldn’t be happier strolling around Target on a Saturday night. Do you guys ever get like that?

I should post pictures of me in college… you’d NEVER guess that this is me now. Actually, come to think of it, I think I’ll do just that. Stay tuned.. I’ll bust that one out in the next post.

 Speaking of … I have a HUGE pipeline of stuff I want to tell you guys.

1. I’ve gotten a few e mails about what nutrition program I’m taking. I’d love to talk all about it, so I’ll be posting about that and about my future goals.

2. My future goals. I have made HUGE progress in this category over the past week. I’ll get into this in a little more detail once I actually have some things confirmed.

3. Spring Cleaning. .. Oh yes… I’m really looking forward to this one.

4. Some interesting nutrition info that I came across about how important water is. Stuff I didn’t even know.

So guys… I’m off to yoga. GUESS WHO’SE TEACHING TODAY??!!!!??? Yep! Brandon!! My DUDE! Member the post I did a little while ago featuring how much I love him? I fell on my head last night when I saw that he’s teaching at my studio today. I’m going to get his autograph. Just wait and see. I’M SO PUMPED!

I love you guys. It feels really good to connect again. I’m exploding with stuff to talk about and I’m going to be in touch A TON over the next couple days before I head to Nevada with my mom on Wednesday. HUGE hugs everyone. I missed you!

Contributing Factors to Why I’m Overeating

Since I stopped severely restricting and counting my calories, I have noticed a significant side effect. I cannot stop eating. Literally, I get to the point of fullness, then extreme fullness, keep going to the point past where I just swallowed what feels like a bomb detonated in my stomach to where I literally feel like I just ate poison I’m about to be ill. It literally ruins my day because it hurts so bad. The worst is that I DID IT TO MYSELF! UGH… hate it when I can’t blame someone else.

I am obviously struggling to make this stop. Of course I am having a little bit of an issue with the weight I’ve gained- most of it very necessary for my health, but now it’s just starting to get uncomfortable. My stomach hurts and cries for relief and that’s not the worst part. After these binges, the next morning I literally feel hung over. My body hurts to touch and my stomach is sour and extremely bloated.

It’s baffling to me how I could possibly restrict my daily intake to 550 calories total, to now having little control of my daily, hourly urges.

I know … I K N O W that I’m going through this for a reason. I even know the reason… I had an eating disorder and I’m CONFIDENT that my calling is to help others with health, nutrition, body image, wellbeing, and eating disorders. How can I possibly help others if I don’t know what I’m talking about, if I haven’t gone through it? I am a pretty spiritual person and I have a deep sense in my soul that this is why I had the eating disorder, how I got healed from it so quickly (whole thing until this point is almost a year), and now why I’m suffering from these horrible binges.

I’m SO thankful that I read about this BEFORE it actually happened. I was pretty well aware that I was going to go into a binge phase. It’s our body’s natural reaction to a significant deprivation of food. Now given the opportunity to freely feast on whatever it likes (because I now declared that a rule- diets are dumb) it is overcompensating in preparation for any future famine (starvation of modern time).

If you think about it, and not get all mad that you’re binging or gaining weight, it’s actually GENIUS that our bodies innately protect us like this. Our natural instincts within our body FIGHT to keep our weight healthy so we are working at our optimum levels. Isn’t that cool? I’m actually grateful that I don’t have to figure every single thing out. My body actually already knows what it’s supposed to do and how to function for me… wow! Imagine if we had to tell our heart when and how hard to beat?!

So along with the binges, we will gain about 10% over what our natural set point weight is. (Yet again why diets and deprivation don’t work.) Just today I tried on one of my old favorite pair of jeans that for the past year have been too big for me (I could put them on while they were buttoned).. now I can’t even button them. Obviously, with a consistent exercise routine and slowing down on all the overeating, the weight will come off and things will level off.

This whole thing has taught me a few things. I can’t say it enough, diets and deprivation and restriction don’t work. It’s only an amount of time until you’ll give in for ALL the missed times you deprived yourself of your favorite foods or “bad” foods. At the current time I’m not one to talk, but it’s about moderation. The second thing I’ve learned from all of this is that we are all built with a unique design. We all have a natural body shape/structure. Only a VERY SMALL percentage of people are naturally very thin.. .the rest of us are in constant battle to be below the weight that our body wants to be. Proven research has shown that underweight women actually live shorter lives than women who have a BMI if 27-30. We’re not doing ourselves huge favors to stay in a war with our body to maintain an unnaturally low body weight. As I’ve mentioned before, our body type is just as natural as the color of our skin, height, hair color etc. No use in fighting it, just fight to keep it healthy.

So all this being said.. how do I start regaining regular eating patterns? Here are my goals:

 I work as a Realtor (currently- not for long) so I spend a significant amount of time at home- not really the office type of job (for me at least). Most of my work is done at the table in the kitchen. (UM…first mistake!) This gives me REPEATED opportunities to eat my face off… for as long as I want…eating whatever I want. So, I have a couple of new options that I present myself with: 1. Work from my real office until I get a better handle on things. 2. Pack a lunch for myself to eat in my own house. Sounds funny doesn’t it? I know but I got to take a little more control of things at this point.

The second measure I’m going to take is not reading food blogs every five minutes. I give some of my favorite blogs literally about 60% credit for shaking me out of my eating disorder because they taught me valuable lessons about how my restriction was me not only missing out on some BEAUTIFUL, DELICIOUS food, but also that one can be healthy, fit AND EAT.. THEN EAT AGAIN! WHATS THAT.. PEANUT BUTTER?? THEY’RE EATING EVEN AGAIN WITH GRANOLA, BREAD, BUTTER, PASTA??! So… you get my point, nothing against them, but they are now a catalyst to my cravings/indulgences. For example, I’ll have a perfectly huge oatmeal and fruit breakfast, nicely full for the morning. I’ll check their blogs and BAM I GOTTA have those waffles, or pb &j bagel or whatever.. So I actually get up (sometimes while reading) and make ANOTHER breakfast. This happens with lunch or snacks as well. They get me EVERY time! So.. no more of this. I have to taper off reading their blogs until night time. This will also help me stay in tune with MY hunger cues, cravings, satisfaction.

I also need to keep busy. Sometimes when I get bored I just want to eat. The other thing is I feel like I’m fine because I’m eating pretty healthy foods but I eat TOO much healthy food. There’s a limit and balance to everything. So, to occupy my time better I’m going to study more during the day and I’m going to try to get out of the house more often. I’d like to begin volunteering at an eating disorder clinic so there’s a nice place to get me out. I’ve been trying to coordinate this for a while so I’m hoping it will actually happen any minute now.

So guys, there you have the flawed, imperfect little me with a plan of action.

Have you guys been through this? I feel like I’m researching this so much… Sometimes I let those little thoughts come to mind where I feel all alone like I’m weird that I’ve done this to myself then out of the woodworks I find people who have experienced something similar. I’d honestly really love to hear your stories if you would like to share.

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